The greatest gift that we can give our sporting children is to equip them with the skills required to thrive in life. Sport is a wonderful vehicle to do this if we can create the right environments at home for our children to flourish.
Before reading any further I would like you to read the article ‘A Greater Game – bigger than sport itself!’
In there we discuss the importance of the character skills required by our children to thrive in todays world, many people talk about this but do not offer the practical advice that parents can start to use immediately.
We have come up with the following list of important skills your children need to flourish, but you may have some more of your own.
- Humility
- Determination
- Resilience
- Patience
- Courage
- Good decision makers
- Good communicators
- Adaptable
- Creative
- Self organised
Based on these character traits, we are now going to try to give you some practical advice and some specific tips to use at home and during your children’s sporting experience that will help set them on the right path for life beyond the game.
Humility
Encourage your children to focus on the processes and not the outcomes.
Speak to them about trying to treat wins and losses with equal measure. Set the tone by how you behave in this respect.
Encourage them to apologise when necessary.
Get them to say thank you to people involved in their life on a regular basis.
Don’t define them on what they achieve – they will then take successes for what they really are.
Determination/Resilience
Don’t problem solve everything for them.
Allow them to fail, try again and find solutions to problems.
Try not to micro-manage every single little thing they do.
Sign them up to environments that they have no previous experience of.
Patience
Don’t expect perfection, we are far from perfect and never will be.
Develop tasks at home that have multiple stages, take time and try not to fuel too much instant gratification.
Do you make your child wait patiently whilst you are talking to other adults?
Courage
Allow them to try new things, this will aid your children’s physical and emotional development.
Encourage a sense of adventure and experimentation.
Give permission for imperfection, allowing them to land badly more than once.
Speak above them, ‘I know how brave you are already but….’
Be the example, ‘tell them you feel nervous’ on occasions.
Decision Making
Ask them what equipment/support they may need from you during their sporting experience?
Get them to take an active role in the what they eat/drink and when? Try to get them to lead the process some of the time.
How much sleep do they need? How much exercise are they doing? Explain the importance of sleep and recovery and perhaps encourage them to set bedtime. Obviously, if they get this wrong then you need to step in.
Communication
Do you find time to sit together for meals without TV or devices? This is vitally important, particularly during hectic schedules. As parents you need to lead the way by asking great questions and inviting them into conversation.
Do you encourage your children to shake hands, look people in the eye and talk to other adults?
Do you ask them to go and speak to teachers and coaches first if they have an issue? You can always follow it up as a parent later on….
Adaptable
Try to have some flexibility in your child’s timetable, be spontaneous and mix it up with activities and arrangements.
See how your children behave if for example a tournament is scheduled last minute, do they go to bed earlier, do they check their kit is ready and out of the wash? If there is no change then perhaps it is a good time to speak with them about changes of plan.
Creativity
Do not give solutions to every problem. Ask questions that help them navigate towards finding their own solutions.
Don’t do everything for them, it is tempting to do it all as a parent (homework, chores etc).
Give them ample opportunity for free time and not structured activity.
Try not to turn the back garden into another coaching session. Smiles, wacky child led games are the order of the day.
Self Organisation
Do you make your child pack their own kit bag? You can always check it without them knowing…..
Do you involve them in household chores no matter how busy they are? This is what they will face later in life…
Do you let them help with meal preparation or cooking? They need to be able to cook, understand healthy food and involving them at a younger age helps in this process.
There is a lot to think about here and we certainly know that we are not perfect parents with our own children and cannot claim to do all of the above. However, any changes that you can make to your weekly routine and behaviour that encourages some of the above is only going to be a positive in the long term development of your child for life beyond the game.
