One of the most challenging things for sporting parents is supporting our kids through challenging times, it is far from easy.
Dr. Abraham Twerski talks about responding to stress and fear using Lobsters as the theme. He tells us that the stimulus for them to be able to grow is to feel uncomfortable and that times of stress are also times that are signals for growth.
How do we help support our young athletes through stressful times?
Sports Parent Conversation Starters
Inspired by Dr. Abraham Twerski – (Stress, Discomfort, and the Power of Growth in Sport)
Understanding Growth Through Pressure
“The lobster feels uncomfortable in its shell. That pressure is the signal to grow.”
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“In your sport, what moments make you feel like the ‘lobster under pressure’?”
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“Can you think of a time when you felt uncomfortable or challenged — but came out stronger?”
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“How do you know when pressure is helping you grow versus when it’s becoming too much?”
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“What do you think your ‘new shell’ looks like after a tough season or challenge?”
Managing Stress Positively
“If lobsters had doctors, they’d never grow — they’d just get pills and stay the same size.”
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“When things get tough in sport, what’s your first reaction — do you push through or back off?”
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“How do you normally deal with stress around training or competition?”
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“What do you think helps you recover and reset after tough moments?”
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“What’s one stressful situation in sport that turned out to be a good thing in the end?”
Building Resilience & Confidence
“Times of stress are signals for growth.”
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“How can we remind ourselves that stress isn’t always bad — it can mean we’re growing?”
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“What helps you believe in yourself when you’re under pressure?”
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“What’s something you’ve learned about your own strength from sport?”
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“When you’ve failed or struggled, what did you discover about yourself?”
Supporting Each Other Through Growth
Growth takes discomfort — but it’s easier when you’re not alone.
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“How can I, as your parent, best support you when you’re going through a tough time?”
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“When do you want me to just listen instead of trying to fix things?”
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“Who else in your sport helps you through challenging periods?”
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“What could our family do to help you handle pressure more confidently?”
Perspective & Gratitude
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“Looking back, what challenges are you now thankful for?”
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“How might this idea of growth under pressure help you in life beyond sport?”
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“How do you think great athletes use tough moments to improve?”
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“If you could talk to a younger athlete, what would you tell them about facing pressure?”
Sports Parent Tips
Discomfort doesn’t mean something is wrong — it often means your child is in the middle of growth.
Your role is to normalise the feeling of challenge, not remove it.
Encourage reflection, reassure them they’re capable, and remind them: stress isn’t the enemy; it’s the signal.
