Have you ever asked your children, ‘Why do you play sport?’
This is one of the questions we ask all parents to ask their children in our sessions followed up with, ‘What is motivating you most at the moment?’
Two very simple questions but so very important and answers will vary depending on the age/stage and the environments the children find themselves in. We see this a lot when working with young athletes. Young people could well be consistently upgrading their answer.
What they answer today, may be very different to what they say in 3 months time, 6 months time or even 3 years time, meaning the need for regular check ins is essential.
Why do we need to know the answer as parents to these two very simple questions?
Because to collaborate with our children and to be able to help support them effectively particularly on those days when things have not gone according to plan and they are disappointed or are struggling for motivation, one of our hooks into conversation is simply being able to align our messaging with what they have already told us.
In live sessions with both parents and children we can often see misalignment in why parents think they are doing their sport and the reasons the children give.
Particularly, with younger children many will say because it is ‘fun’ and I ‘enjoy’ it, however, what does that actually mean, what is fun and enjoyable for them can be totally different for someone else.
If you look at how young people describe fun in the graphic (wonderful work by Amanda Visek) you can see the wide range of answers that are given. That is why we need to understand and work with our own children, their reasons and their motivations as opposed to trying to tell everyone how they should think and feel.
Great communication, aligned messaging and co-collaboration are just some of the essential tools that we need in our sports parenting toolkit.
Let us know how your children responded?
Was it different to what you thought?
Has it allowed you to reflect on how you are currently supporting?
