Nobody Gave Me a Manual: the book we have been building for seven years.
Pre-orders are now open for the first book from the Parents in Sport Podcast. Gordon MacLelland on why he wrote it, what’s inside, and why it’s the conversation he wishes he’d had when he started.
I want to start with a confession.
I am not a perfect sports parent, and I’ve never claimed to be. I’ve said the wrong thing in the car, and I’ve asked about the result before asking whether they enjoyed it. I’ve interviewed dozens of the world’s leading voices on this subject. Even so, on the drive home with my own two footballers, my instinct is still to ask about the performance first.
That’s the reason this book exists, I needed to hear most of what’s in it myself.
Today I’m proud to say that Nobody Gave Me a Manual: Sports Parenting Wisdom from the Parents in Sport Podcast is available to pre-order. It’s £15.99, and copies arrive from 1 December.
Pre-order your copy here
Where this book came from
When we started the Parents in Sport Podcast in 2020, the aim was to have honest, relatable conversations about sports parenting and share them for free. Seventy episodes and seven seasons later, I had a substantial body of wisdom. It was sitting in audio files that most busy parents will never have time to listen to in full.
This book is my attempt to do something about that. Each chapter is built around a theme that came up again and again, with the key moments from the conversations and my own reflections alongside. Our guests even voted on the title.
The people you’ll meet
- Denise Lewis, our very first guest, admits the car journey home was her “big nemesis”. In her words: “I know the theory, I deliver the theory to other parents, and I still have absolute shockers.”
- Steve Magness explains why real toughness means navigating the chaos, not gritting your teeth.
- Brad Stulberg describes the “identity house”, and why your child needs more than one room in it.
- Dr Joe Baker says: “The people who try talent ID before puberty really are guessing.”
- Martin Offiah, Dwain Chambers and Lewis Moody talk about what elite sport has taught them about raising children. So does Marcia Lewis, mum of Arsenal and England’s Myles Lewis-Skelly.
What’s inside
There are 17 chapters, and each one stands on its own. They cover love without conditions, the sideline, talent, setbacks and injury, resilience, two parents working as one team, and raising daughters and sons. They also cover the digital world, sleep and fuel, stepping back, comparison, the conversations to have before a season starts, finishing a season well, identity beyond sport and, of course, the car journey home.
Every chapter ends with practical takeaways you can use at the very next match. A few examples:
- In 40 minutes of youth football, I counted 134 instructions shouted from the sideline. That’s one every 18 seconds, and staying quiet is a positive contribution.
- After an injury, swap “How’s the injury?” for “How are you?”
- The golden rule for the car journey home is space first, then ask about the experience before the performance.
You don’t need to read it in order. If your child has just been deselected, start with the chapter on when it goes wrong. If you just want to feel less alone, start with the sideline. Read it as a conversation, not a manual. Take what is useful and leave what is not.
What early readers are saying
“A must-read for coaches and parents of young athletes.” — Brad Stulberg, bestselling author of The Way of Excellence
“What I valued most is its honesty. Gordon does not offer a formula for perfect parenting.” — Katie Mobed, Performance Psychologist and Co-Founder, The Prime Clinic
“What stands out about the work of Gordon MacLelland and Working with Parents in Sport is the way in which they teach and coach. They sidestep the outdated command and control model and instead engage parents and coaches in an experiential learning model. It’s simply brilliant. It helps us all rewire how we’ve been trained and taught and asks us to think about what we’re doing from another angle, namely the angle of the kids we’re coaching and raising. Gordon and his team create a dynamic, safe space in which to learn sometimes startling information, but all in the name of being better coaches and better parents. As an educator of over 20 years, I am humbled by this insightful and transformative approach. It can work wonders.” — Dr. Jennifer Fraser , award winning author and educator
Who it’s for
This book is for the parent, the grandparent, the guardian and anyone who loves a young athlete and is trying to work out how to do this well. It’s also for coaches, and for the academies, pathway programmes, sporting organisations and schools that want to give their families something to come back to all season.
Pre-order Nobody Gave Me a Manual
