Most young athletes perform best when they’re relaxed and happy and that’s something you, as a parent, can genuinely influence.
Every child is different, but here are ten broad pieces of advice on what to do, and what to avoid, in the run-up to your child’s big event.
You’ll see the phrase ‘big event’ a lot below, shorthand for anything from a cup final to a state championship. But the overriding tip, above all the others, is this:
Don’t treat it like a big event.
It isn’t the Olympics. It’s children’s sport so keep hold of that.
With that in mind, here are the ten top tips:
- Avoid placing performance expectations on your child
This one comes first because it matters most. Expectation builds anxiety. It’s a fun-destroyer and a performance-demolisher. Think about it: if a child meets what was expected of them, all they’ve done is what was expected, a relief, nothing more. If they fall short, they may feel they’ve let people down so it’s a no-win situation, and often one entirely outside their control. It is better to place your expectations on the things they can control such as their conduct, attitude and effort.
- Avoid researching and building profiles of opponents
You genuinely don’t need to “study the opposition” in children’s sport and if you do, keep it to yourself. Discussing anything outside a child’s control like who they’re up against, how those players might perform tends to raise anxiety rather than settle it. It also plants a quiet expectation (“you’re ranked in the top three going in” quickly becomes “you’re expected to get a medal”), which is exactly what we’re trying to avoid.
- Don’t increase the number of practice sessions
Some parents assume an extra session or two in the lead-up will better prepare their child. In practice, the opposite tends to be true. Elite athletes taper their training before a major event backing off the load to arrive fresh and energised. As a coach, my rule with young athletes is no full sessions in the two days before a major weekend event. So, if a young athlete normally trains Tuesdays and Thursdays, their last session before a Saturday event is the Tuesday.
- Keep things as normal as possible
Following on from that, help your child keep the lead-up feeling ordinary. Part of that is acting normally yourself. Don’t suddenly talk about nothing else or relate every conversation back to the event. On the day itself, even during the warm-up, I’ll often ask an athlete about school, or what they watched on TV the night before. It helps them relax and takes their mind off the competition ahead.
- Avoid new things
Don’t introduce anything new on the day hoping it’ll boost performance. That means no new foods or drinks, no shoes worn for the first time, and no untested warm-up routine.
- Avoid motivational speeches
Resist the urge to “pump up” your child before the event. Most young athletes don’t need motivating and trying to fire them up when they don’t need it can just as easily breed resentment.
- Be mindful of your body language
I’m naturally a pacer. I’ve been told I look like an expectant father before a competition. As a coach, I must be conscious not to pace backwards and forwards before or during an event. Sometimes I’ll deliberately sit down just to stop myself. When I look relaxed, it helps the athletes. When I look jittery, that gets passed on too. The same applies to you as a parent, your child will pick up on your nerves.
- Don’t offer incentives
I regularly hear about parents offering gifts or money for a good performance, hoping it will motivate their child. All it really does is raise the stakes in the child’s mind. If a reward’s on the table, it must be a big deal, never bribe a child to perform.
- Keep things simple
Don’t send your child out to compete with a head full of instructions, strategies, or last-minute advice. Keep it simple. My final words to an athlete before they compete are always the same: “Good luck, have fun.”
- Relax and enjoy it
Choose to stay relaxed and enjoy the experience alongside your child. Your mood will shape theirs, so make sure it’s one that helps rather than hinders.
Thank you to Darren Wensor (Australia), sports development professional, coach educator and specialist coach of young athletes, for allowing us to reproduce this article. To see more of his work, visit www.coachingyoungathletes.com
